Archive for the ‘job’ Category


Update: As I am no more in insurance domain, I do not possess any material as of now. But one of my reader Rahul volunteered and agreed to help others by giving them suggestions and materials. His Email-Id is rahul5478@gmail.com. So those who need the help regarding the LOMA exam may reach him at the address provided. Also do not forget to thank him for his help and time.

Today I did something great. I cleared my LOMA 280 certification with 88%. Big day for me because just last week I got my dates and due to work pressure and then a trip to Hyderabad in the weekend really hindered my preparation. But as they say “All’s well that ends well” so the results are just good enough for me considering the two day time frame I got for preparation.

Well for starters, this is a world wide benchmark especially in field of health and Insurance business.
LOMA is an international association which offers products and services developed specifically for the management and operational needs of the insurance and financial services industry.
LOMA Courses (certification exams) are mandatory as a step up for employees towards their professional designation. Some companies seek their employees to have this benchmark certification in order to enhance the confidence of the clients. Certified employees do have various benefits like- promotion, customer interaction opportunities.

More details about LOMA on www.loma.org

My day started with a bad dream of not able to appear for the test. Phewww…boy th0se dreams always haunt me…Exam was in the second half so I freshened up and started a quick revision of whatever I was able to study in past two days. Apparently it was not much to score…or so I thought…

I reached to my office some good 50 minutes before the punctual time of 2:30 P.M. that was assigned to me and registered my presence to everybody – my friends and colleagues. Then I went to my PMP manager to know the proceeds for the exam and he asked to sit for the exam right then and asked whether am all set and prepared.

I went blank for few seconds and excused myself and went to cafeteria to have a cup of tea and some snacks. Anxiety was killing me. Whatever I was thinking at that time was just not helping me.  I was not afraid of failing but the fact that I would be the one of the first few who have failed this exam. Second reason was monetary that my company will scoop out the exam fee out of my ass if I failed. As a good boy that I am I have never given my company any chance to scoop anything out of my ass but the big boss always keeps a check nevertheless and never misses the opportunity however feeble it is.

But by the grace of my ISHT-DEV I was saved again. So there goes another happy week…party time this weekend. Probably will go to Lalbaug, Mumbai to see the ongoing Ganeshotsav which I think is the most colorful and vibrant festival celebrated with awing fervor in Mumbai…More on this later…Right now am good and happy so let’s celebrate…

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So July is about to end. Well, this wasn’t a very great month for me but the ending is going fine so “All’s well if ends well”.

So let’s start the journey of my pathetic start when the appraisals were announced and the company settled with the decisions of giving peanuts to employees as it is good for health. Well, I’m allergic to peanuts in that way. A lot more were too. But nothing happened. Then started the series of long conversations, brain storming sessions with colleagues and managers, low performance after effects, complaints from either side, promises and all that. It all lead to a dead end. Then mid way I decided to move on and still trying to move on.

Next in line is that this month my writing abilities were paralyzed and I now see around 9 articles drafted and resting in my kitty. I was too busy sorting official issues that I didn’t get time to think over. But now I’m out of the grudge mode and trying to be back on track. Parties, movies, trekking, novels – a whole lot of stuff I did in the last 15 days and am feeling good now. Although my account balance is showing a steep decline – worst over the last few months but that’s all right. There are no free lunches in this world and materialistic happiness is as important as any other spiritual stuff (I’m not a hermit for god sake, I like to enjoy.)

Next weekend am going home so that’s very good news. Also I bought a brand new Samsung Galaxy S GT-I9000 with costs a fortune but I bought it for my “feel good factor” and seriously it did have a positive effect on me. I am too eager to show my prized ownership to my family. I am writing a review on the phone with the perspective of an Indian consumer and will post it very soon once I am through with the features of the phone.

Well I guess this is it. Too much of detail is uncalled for so I’ll end it here. This post is meant to serve as filler for my oath of posting at least one article a month. I hope August will revive my spirit from the ashes. Fingers crossed.

Adieu Dear Friends.


The appraisal season is back. With the last year recession thing hitting the employees hard on their backbone, this year appraisal is the most coveted and most eagerly waited event.

With speculations doing the round, are also some funny mails which shows how the appraisal process is carried out across the industry. The plot is the appraisal meeting between an employee and his manager.  So just read it and enjoy. I am quite sure, all the working people will be able to relate the pity character to themselves.

The curtain opens…………….

Big Boss: This year your performance was good, excellent and outstanding.
So, your rating is “average”.


Kumar: What? How come ‘average’?


Big Boss: Because…err…uhh…you lack domain knowledge.


Kumar: But last year you said I am a domain expert and you put me in this
project as a domain consultant.


Big Boss: Oh is it? Well, in that case, I think your domain knowledge has
eroded this year.


Kumar: What???


Big Boss: Yes, I didn’t see you sharing knowledge on Purchasing domain.


Kumar: Why would I? Because I am not in Purchasing, I am in Manufacturing.


Big Boss: This is what I don’t like about you. You give excuse for
everything.


Kumar: Huh? *Confused*


Big Boss: Next, you need to improve your communication skills.


Kumar: Like what? I am the one who trained the team on “Business
Communication”, you sat in the audience and took notes, you remember?


Big Boss: Oh is it? Errr…well..I mean, you need to improve your Social
Pragmatic Affirmative Communication.


Kumar: Huh? What the hell is that? *Confused*


Big Boss: See! That’s why you need to learn about it.


Kumar: *head spinning*


Big Boss: Next, you need to sharpen your recruiting skills. All the guys
you recruited left within 2 months.


Kumar: Well, not my mistake. You told them you will sit beside them and
review their code, and most resigned the next day itself. Couple of them
even attempted suicide.


Big Boss:*stunned* (recovers from shock) Err…anyway, I tried to give you
a better rating, but our Normalization process gave you only ‘average’.


Kumar: Last year that process gave me ‘excellent’. This year just
‘average’? Why is this process pushing me up and down every year?


Big Boss: That’s a complicated process. You don’t want to hear.


Kumar: I’ll try to understand. Go ahead.


Big Boss: Well, we gather in a large room, write down the names of
sub-ordinates in bits of paper, and throw them up in the air. Whichever
lands on the floor gets ‘average’, whichever lands on table gets ‘good’,
whichever we manage to catch gets ‘excellent’ and whichever gets stuck to
ceiling gets ‘outstanding’.


Kumar: (eyes popping out) What? Ridiculous! So who gets ‘poor’ rating?


Big Boss: Those are the ones we forget to write down.


Kumar: What the hell! And how can paper bits stick to ceiling for
‘outstanding’?


Big Boss: Oh no, now you have started questioning our 20 year old
organizational process!


Kumar: *faints*

The curtain closes…….


With year 2010, speculations are high that the recession era will come to an end. Things will again be back on track and development will again set its sail. Infosys gave single digit appraisal in the month of October last year with next round of appraisal set for April 2010. Wipro just now announced a 10%-12% hike in salary w.e.f. 1st February, 2010.

Such a hike comes after a long dark tunnel — of 12 to 18 months — when employees went through a difficult period of layoffs, uncertainty, additional work loads, and salary freeze. All these positive vibes are sure to create a stable environment and will heal the wounded personnel.

So now I’m also hoping to get good news from my company soon. Although it seems highly unlikely, given that I still don’t know the entire component of my CTC. But things are bound to change and I’m hoping they will change for good this time.

Among the worst hit was the IT industry and as a part of it, I also felt the heat burning my skin at times. But somehow I survived. And with the end of 2009, good news of bonuses and appraisal has been doing rounds in the industry.

While the jobs were cut, salary freeze, the inflation was set to soaring high, prices of commodities increased. But the interesting pattern that I analyzed was that the spending and purchasing power of Indians was not affected. Either, most of the class was immune against the recession bomb or they just had to maintain their living standards at any cost.

Whatever be the reason, the Indian service sector may have a little burden removed from their shoulders. Its time to exuberate and the hikes are promising enough to help you rejoice.


I found this letter quite amusing not because of the funny language but thining of the guy who wrote it. If only our mother India produces such engineer’s no wonder why the infrastructure is expired before inaugration. Why the IT companies hire the mass on alms and giving us a hard time.

So much can be written on the hidden plight of all engineer’s found embedded in this letter but that will just go against the spirit of letter. Sometimes explaination steal the sweetness and soul of matter which is better the way it is in brief. So without wasting my time on blabbering more and more like out forefront leaders I directly present to you:

An Engineer’s Letter 

 

Jai Hind


Today I’m feeling a bit on low side. May be my battery is low…(*&^%$#%^^). I don’t know what am I writing? FCUK. Yaar yeh duniya mein koi chain se kabhi reh hi nahi sakta kya??? Uff !!! My frustoo attitude is being reflected in my work today. Two of my enhancements have bombed since morning and I’ve been reprimanded by my manager.

Back in college days, one of my teacher used to say that a S/W engineer is nothing but a “Majdoor”, so don’t think that you guys are going to be some top notch big-shot. Your donkey will always be the first in line when fire will broke. And alas, as always I didn’t listened to him and today here I am sitting in front of screen writing codes which don’t work, if they work they aren’t optimized, if optimized then not carrying much of the functionalities. Oh GOD !!! If you are there, watching this son of yours struggling and laughing at me, then please it’s time to stop fooling around and help me. As the question of administration goes, there is been a distinct decline in your leadership and admin qualities. The whole world is in utter chaos, so don’t give me the excuse that you are a busy person. No you are not. You have just gone lazy, or things have gone out of your hand and you are just like a TV mechanic who knows how to open the set and then look at all the parts and wondering how and where to fix them.

So please at least help me. You know me, how dumb I am. I don’t know how to stand up for me. This job has sucked the whole life out of me. And with this recession thing doing the rounds like a warden in a hostel, who is always finding ways to stuck a bamboo rod up in your donkey. Ouchhhh… Please I don’t want to be that guy. Save me Lord…For I’ve yet not loosed my self respect and I’m too depressed to handle the pressure of my work. I don’t know if I’ll be able to cope up with what all you’ve written in your script for me. But please change it to something good before it’s too late.

From tomorrow onwards, I’m going to work in a whole new environment. It can be as good as finding water in dessert or can be as worse as …well my present life is a perfect example of that.
I’ll try to draw out the nectar from my poisonous life. Just be there to help me, hold me whenever I falter. And please don’t screw it up more that what it already is.

Time to wrap up my work for today, so I’ll end this little letter here only. I have to leave early today as I’ve to go for a movie. Bye…

P.S. Hoping for a bright and shiny day tomorrow (not literally) in my life.